


you’ve got to join me on my page

by Rivran



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Aziraphale Loves Crowley (Good Omens), Comforting Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley Loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley is a Mess (Good Omens), Fluff and Angst, Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), Love Confessions, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Post-Canon, crowley is a dumbass and he deserves to be loved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-14 01:01:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29038284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rivran/pseuds/Rivran
Summary: “How can you keep saying that?!”“Saying what?” Aziraphale’s brow wrinkled. “That I love you?”“Yes!” Crowley slid a hand under his glasses, pressing over his eyes. “You said it that first time, and then you just kept saying it, and I know, alright? I know you don’t mean it. And that’s fine, it’s nothing, that’s okay. But you don’t know, angel. You have no idea.”“Tell me, then.”
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 102





	you’ve got to join me on my page

**Author's Note:**

> title is from Would You Be So Kind by dodie!

It began a day and a half after an angel and a demon cancelled the apocalypse.

Aziraphale had called with news of some little artisan café opening nearby, and would Crowley like to come along and try it? Crowley, of course, had said yes, and what time, and sure he could drive, and yeah how does one o’clock tomorrow sound.

Aziraphale had replied, “oh, wonderful! I look forward to it, my love,” and then hung up.

At least, Crowley assumed he hung up, because when he picked his phone back up and miraculously repaired the shattered screen, the call had ended.

“What,” he said out loud. “The fuck,” he said out louder. The aloe plant on the windowsill let out a timid sort of shuffle. Crowley glared at it until it stopped shaking. “This is none of your business.”

So Aziraphale had called him _love_. That was fine, right? Plenty of people use it as a casual term of endearment. All the time. Obviously. It was slightly more modern slang than Crowley was used to hearing from him, but perhaps he’d decided to update his vocabulary for a post-non-apocalyptic world. Yes, that made sense. It had to be it. Because if he had meant it the way Crowley first thought — the way Crowley hoped — then that would be… it would…

“Nope,” said Crowley. “I am not going there. You hear me?” He pointed a threatening hand at the aloe plant, which was shaking again. “I. Am not. Going. There.”

So it continued. Aziraphale would call him love, and he would convince himself it didn’t mean anything.

Just because Aziraphale didn’t mean it like that didn’t prevent it from hurting every time. It made it much worse, actually. 

Every “love” Crowley heard just made his lungs fight to suck in enough air. Even without Aziraphale, hearing it from strangers sent another little wave of pain right through him.

He finally snapped five days later, after he’d refilled Aziraphale’s wineglass and was met with a quick “oh, thank you, love”.

He set his own glass on the side table. “How can you keep saying that?!”

“Saying what?” Aziraphale’s brow wrinkled. “That I love you?”

“Yes!” Crowley slid a hand under his glasses, pressing over his eyes. “You said it that first time, and then you just kept saying it, and I know, alright? I know you don’t mean it. And that’s fine, it’s nothing, that’s okay. But you don’t _know_ , angel. You have no idea.”

Crowley risked a glance from behind his hands. Aziraphale started at him with an unidentifiable Look on his face.

“Tell me, then.”

“No!” He recoiled. “No, that would make it _so_ much worse than it already is.”

“Crowley,” he said quietly. “It’s clearly bothering you, and I won’t let you torture yourself like that.”

“You’ll hate me,” he mumbled. “If I say it, you’ll never want to see me again.”

“You don’t know that!”

“I do! Believe me, okay, angel?”

“I don’t,” Aziraphale snapped. “Believe you, that is. And I would appreciate it if you would stop making assumptions about what I feel.”

“Fine! You want to know so much, I’ll tell you. You say you love me, but you don’t! I know you don’t. You can’t. I’m a demon. I’m unlovable. And I can’t love, either, even though I want to. So every time you say _that_ , it just reminds me of what I can _never have_.”

Silence fell just as suddenly as the outburst had arrived.

“Oh, my dear.”

Aziraphale looked at him with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. The bookshop’s regular patrons would have recognized it immediately, but Crowley was unfamiliar with the look.

“What?”

“Crowley, do you really think we don’t love each other?”

He turned away, glaring at the dust in the corner. “That was the whole point of my little rant, yeah.”

“Oh, you brilliant, beautiful idiot.” Crowley looked back as the sofa dipped beside him. Aziraphale smiled. “I am an angel, you know.”

“Well, I — yeah, I do know, but that’s the problem!” His voice dropped as he hid behind his hands. “Even if you could love me, you wouldn’t, all right? Nobody wants to love a demon. ‘Specially not an angel.”

Crowley blinked at the sudden light. Aziraphale had uncovered Crowley’s face and held his hands in his own.

“I wasn’t finished,” Aziraphale said primly, still _holding Crowley’s hands_ **_what the fuck_**. “I was going to say, I am an angel. I can sense love. And even if I couldn’t,” he continued, despite the look on Crowley’s face, “I’m not blind. You show your love in so many ways, my dear. I was so happy after Armageddon never happened because I could finally return the favor.”

Crowley sorted through that minefield of sentences. He picked out one that he could muddle through his sluggish head.

“How do you mean, ‘I show my love’? Yeah, I _like_ you, but I don’t exactly go parading it around, do I?”

“Crowley, my love, you wouldn’t recognize subtlety if it hit you in the head.”

“But if it hit me in the head, then it wouldn’t be subtle,” he argued.

“I refuse to debate this with you right now.” Aziraphale wrapped him in a tight hug. “I know that I love you, most ardently. I know I have loved you for hundreds of years. I know you have loved me for nearly the same amount of time. And now that we’re safe from Heaven and Hell,” he said, and when had his hands moved themselves to Crowley’s face? “We’re safe from whatever they think about us. It’s okay, my dear. They can’t hurt us anymore.”

If Crowley was crying a little before, he was well and truly bawling after that. “I love you,” he choked out. “I love you, I love you, I love you.”

“Crowley,” he murmured. “My dear. My love.” Aziraphale closed his eyes and prayed with real intent for the first time in over a century.

_He deserves the world, do you see? This is what we stopped Armageddon for. Nothing will hurt him ever again. I’ll make sure of it._

“I’m sorry,” Crowley mumbled. He leaned away to wipe his face on something that wasn’t the angel’s favorite coat.

“You have nothing to apologize for, my dear.”

“I cried all over your coat!”

“And we both know you’re the most likely candidate to clean it up,” he teased. His tone shifted from fond exasperation to loving certainty. “Crowley, the coat is just a thing. You’re so much more important than that. I love you, and I will tell you as many times as you need to hear it. And if crying on the coat will let you believe that I love you, then it will be worth it. Because I’ll still get to be with you. Do you understand?”

Crowley wiped his eyes. Then wiped them again. “Can I have the coat back?” he joked weakly.

Aziraphale opened his arms wide. “Anytime, my love. Always.”

In the not-too-distant future, an angel and a demon live together in a bookshop filled with thousands of books, two hundred years of memories, and one lightly-stained coat.

“I love you,” the angel reminds the demon every time he leaves.

“I know,” he replies with a grin.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! if you liked it, leave me a comment! if you hated it, leave me a comment anyway!   
> it’s been a long time since I posted anything — I’ve been super busy with the new semester and completely unmotivated to write. but I hope you enjoyed this quick little oneshot!


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